International Soundex
Reunion Registry
by Anthony S. Vilardi
Most adoptees wonder about their genetic
origins and their health, but where do they go to learn about their
birth family's medical history?
It was not until Emma May Vilardi began
looking for the reasons behind the many illnesses that she had
suffered that she learned that ancestors and genetics were the key to
understanding her health problems. Daring a probate judge to unseal an
adoption record, she quickly learned that her ancestors had succumbed
to the same diseases.
Not all adoptees can find the answers they
need, though. Most adoptees do not have their birth name or place of
adoption and, therefore, are unable to make that inquiry. Even when
they do, most medical history is not kept current, in part because
many birth parents do not know where or how to update vital medical
information. In private placements, where attorney's records are often
the only records, medical information may be virtually nonexistent.
Even when information was collected at placement, numerous illnesses
or diseases may have surfaced after the adoptee's placement.
One solution to this problem was obvious to
Emma May. With an endorsement from the American Academy of Pediatrics
and the support of pioneers in the adoption reform movement, she
launched the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR). For the
first time, all who had a need or a desire for contact with their kin
had a place to make themselves available. It was strictly mutual, and
it was free.
Announcements were sent to social service
agencies encouraging them to affiliate with ISRR and to refer
searchers to the registry. In 1975 the state of Montana was the first
to affiliate with ISRR. Many groups across the country now routinely
refer people to the registry.
Is any registry the solution to all adoption
issues? Absolutely not! Reunion registries are only one tool. A
greater understanding of the issues involved is necessary if society
is to provide for the unique needs of the adoption community. Today,
in response to demands from triad members, most states provide some
post-adoption services. Many states impose restrictions on these
services, though, including fees and waiting periods. This is
unacceptable.
Other obstacles result from the insensitivity
of those in authority. Birth mothers who do not remember the actual
date of birth and sex of their child have been denied access to that
data on the grounds that it is "identifying" information. State laws
are often designed so that people born in one state and adopted in
another cannot obtain post-adoption services in either state.
A registry service is not intrusive. Reunions
that take place through a registry go well for most. Registrants
choose their means of communication, although most want to meet as
soon as possible. Closure can take place at the same time that a new
chapter begins. Connections and answers are often most important to
adoptees; they have questions about health, appearance,
characteristics, traits, and the circumstances of their conception and
placement. They love to find siblings. They seldom seek to replace
their adoptive parents, though. These are observations based on many
thousands of reunions that have occurred through ISRR.
Should registrants accept advice? Yes, indeed.
Expectations of what each person will experience vary widely. The ISRR
staff is quick to provide counseling when requested. Adoption support
groups can certainly help as well, and publications are widely
available to address the feelings that arise during reunions.
At this writing, the ISRR maintains
registrations for more than 174,000 persons. The ratio of adoptees to
birth family members has remained constant throughout the years: five
adoptees register for every three birth family members. Obviously, the
assumption that birth mothers do not want to be located has little
validity. We have also found that the cause of the pregnancy is not a
deterrent to registration; women who became pregnant following incest
or rape are among our registrants. Some birth parents have admitted
abandoning their children; although this is rare, ISRR once reunited a
foundling with her birth mother and two full siblings.
What type of adoption reform would ISRR
support? That's easy. First, total access to original birth
certificates for adoptees. Second, an amendment to every state's vital
statistics act to provide birth parents with a non-certified copy of
their child's original birth certificate, for informational purposes.
Possessing accurate information about the child's sex, date and place
of birth, and the attending physician increases a birth parent's
chances of being reunited.
For many of those who have been reunited
through the ISRR, the registry was their only means of connecting with
lost family members. For many others, ISRR is their only hope of one
day being reunited. It was a remarkable woman of extraordinary vision
and courage who undertook this important, humane task: this registry
is Emma May Vilardi's legacy to the adoption community.
| Anthony Vilardi
served as Registrar of ISRR from July 1990
until October 2001 and as Chairman of the board since 2003. Emma May Vilardi, nee Sutton, was born in Kansas
City, MO, on June 23, 1922, and died on July 9, 1990. The ISRR
Executive Board of Trustees is responsible for ensuring the
operation of the registry for future generations. The registry
motto is, "United today for the reunions of tomorrow." A
version of this essay previously appeared in the Operation
Identity newsletter and Adoption Network News. |
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For permission to reproduce
any of these articles please contact the author or CEO of
International Soundex Reunion Registry, Inc. at P.O. Box 371179,
Las Vegas, NV 89137 ~ 775-882-7755 |

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